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Well it's that time again and it looks to be a interesting one
We have many styles to pick from. From Fan-fiction like to the werid....
I posted the submissions in order I got them On the event explaining thread
The order it's listed there and one the poll
The teams job was to write a naruto filler script, and the only teams that have dont that are the fockers and the dropouts. All the other teams tried to be funny be being random, or copyin terra, which isn't a naruto filler script at all. Those teams should lose by default imo, for not following the guidelines.
Congrats to the dropouts and fockers for having good entries.
There are no "guidelines" for a Naruto filler. This has been proven by 51 episodes.
I hardly count having stupid CS scenes and random CS talk as a "filler"Quote:
Originally Posted by BOARD_of_command
It hasn't been done yet, but there's nothing against that. I wouldn't be surprised at all if they do a CS parody for a future filler.
voted for dropouts, i didnt bother to read fockers cuz i gotta click some shitty links and the rest suck. dont get me wrong though, dropouts sucked too. you guys can't do better than this shit? come on. they all look like something i would've written in the first grade. it really looks like there was no effort put into any of them.
the only part i really liked was the phantom kunai shot/knife kill from team headshot (which is a fucking gay ass name). too bad the rest of the story sucked ass. cs nerds.
Well you know I have to be a picky, totally overanalyzing fiend with everything, so here you go. I size up the best and worst of each entry in this 'why am i not studying and doing this' post.
Fockers -
Strengths: A prissy Itachi
Weaknesses: Penis jokes, yup, I feel like I'm in elementary school again.
Overall: A pretty good entry that really started off horribly with too much reliance on the penis joke. Having Lee and Naruto both focus on that was overkill. Itachi and Kisame and some of the random appearances almost saved the day, but naturally you had to go back to the penis thing at the end.
Dropouts-
Strengths: Detailed fight scenes
Weaknesses: Punch line at the end.
Overall: I like that someone took a shot at a serious, action-packed Naruto episode rather than going the easy route of doing comedy. The narration was a little over flowery at points, but the fights were detailed and would have probably made a pretty kickass episode if animated.
Headshot-
Strengths: Excellent use of smoke (no one I ever play with properly employs them...)
Weaknesses: AWP bitches...
Overall: As I love CS:S I thought some of this was absolutely hilarious. At the same time I despise hackers and just imagining God#2 queering it up with an AWP makes me furious beyond imagination... Definitely could have catered to a wider audience is the biggest problem.
Katons-
Strengths: I have nothing to critiscize.
Weaknesses: God you guys are lame.
Overall: Competitions like this blow with people who don't even try in them. Other users wanted to play, but you guys just sit there and don't do shit. If this was my outfit I'd have you all removed ASAP.
Purple Sharkoons-
Strengths: Cross-over cameos.
Weaknesses: Sometimes sloppily written.
Overall: A few funny moments but a little too randomn and weird for my tastes.
The Decision:
After much consideration I decided to vote for the entry that I enjoyed the least upon actually reading, but that I actually think did the job best: writing something that could be used for filler.
I voted for The Dropouts.
Everyone else was sorta funny but also had some humor I just didn't think was very good, things that obviously could never happen in a filler or any episode of Naruto, and the Katons just suck balls. Compared to the last round I think you all put in alot of effort (although i wonder...) and I personally would let all of you stick around for the next round, kicking off all the Katons and God#2 (for using an AWP and hacks) instead.
2nd: Fockers
3rd: Headshots
4th: Sharkcoons
@ mage :
I am quite sorry to hear that you are incapable of clicking twice in a row.
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@ masamuneehs :
Maybe the Naruto scene was done horribly but what do you expect from him. I am aware of your dislike towards Fate Stay/Night but even without making a reference to the anime that joke work very well. I had to put that reference in because I am totally in love with that anime and Saber at the moment. I know people who are watching that show certainly would have like it.
As for penis jokes, I had to do justice to the Naruto’s character. I certainly didn’t finish with the penis thing, there was another Itachi/kisame scene.
Itachi was a very good character to use. I could have based all my filler around him and Kisame but I had to include the other characters ( Ebisu and Jiraiya ) to fill the requirements. I had so much Itachi material but I couldn’t fit all that in. That’s my biggest regret.
So you don’t like penis jokes or comedy then I will so a serious action filler just for you. I did do a script about three months ago in my spare time when I got too involved in one of my threads and came to know everything about Neji and Sasuke. But I want that stuff to be animated somehow and I don’t have the means or the resources. You never know maybe I will do it some day.
Also I am tired of people saying that you guys could have done better than this shit. So why don’t you people put your money where your mouth is and show us how it’s done.
I have to admit the punch line at the end was kinda... weird.
But stealing a scroll was the only belivable way to have Kabuto at Konoha.
Hanabi couldn't be away in a mission since she's (at most) in academy (or even hasn't even started, I just made Kabuto believe she was).
Also, we really couldn't have them stealing something good, since Kabuto was going to win... and since we were doing a filler... well... we ended it with some (weak) comedy. Like the bikouchou filler.
Also... I feel the narration suffered in my opinion. The original draft was more detailed, and had more feeling. But since we needed to fit the images we had to edit. Suffice to say, there were about 5 versions of this.
I do wonder why you thought the narration was flowery masa. Just curious (I like critics! They improve my writing).
mage... thanks for the vote. Enough said.
-> www.fanfiction.net/~ryougazell
Cheers to the fockers. Even full of randomness... their submission was the only I really did fully read. Several mistakes on our own pain me... but the editions were needed.
Unfortunatly because of all our individual schedules, we couldn't fit in my perfect ending at the end so it ending rather abruptly.
Thinking back, I should've voted for Team Katon. "Nothing" is better than the pure shit stories the other teams produced.Quote:
Originally Posted by mage
Well I am late, as always. Good luck to all. Alot of blood was spilt during the last battle and may it continue in this one.
@ mage... thanks for the vote, but you could have kept the comment.
Good job to all the teams that submitted something, i know that it was hard work and a great effort by all. I hope all of you had fun with this event. I did and so did our team, until the last stretch when we had to cut down the script. That was a fucking headache, and a real pain in the ass, especially RyougaZell's :p .
Masa, we worked with what we had, alot was lost on the cutting floor. And it was said by you i believe that if the submission was not under the 10000 vbulletin character count, you would pratically butcher the submission, in one of your pervious post.
Thanks for the vote and the critisim it was much appreciated. The puchlines were not always corny but they took the biggest hit when editing. I am glad that we went the serious route instead of the comedic one.
Good luck to the fockers, it seems that you all will be giving us a run for our money, or is it the other way around.Nice use of photoshop by the way, very nice you all got away from having to count the urls for the images as characters, very smart. Hemmm the others were interesting, really a different way to do this. Don't underesimate us, thats the worst thing you can do. hehe
What happened to The katons, I was looking forward to your entry from what i saw in the last event i thought you all would have been a real threat. I guess conflicts of opinions got in the way, too much creative juices flowing maybe. What a shame.
RyuogaZell, Deblas IfingHateTonTon, I think we work really great together and I am proud of what we put out in the time and space in which we had to do it. Good Freaking job.
Anyways.....
Dumbass: The grave digger is reporting for duty, I just hope RyougaZell doesn't push me in and cover the hole while i am in there:D.
Dumbass out.
seeya
Edit: DeadFire, not to be too pick but our name is "The Dropout Crew" not "The Dropouts". Just so you know. hehe, but it could work, maybe :p
A little constructive criticism never hurt.Quote:
Originally Posted by dragonrage
In the end the only competition i saw was between The Fockers and The Dropouts
Team Fockers: Very funny, though slightly immature. You could have done better with the use of images that went along well with specific happenings in the filler, especially for something so long. I felt that dialogue and narration simply wasnt enough considering the sheer length of the filler( Which i also consider to be a negative factor) Also, it seemed like a lot of different events were occuring at the same time and werent really tied in together all that well.
Team Dropout: Simple, yet effective. The plot was rather boring but there was plently of action which would have overridden the boring storyline if the episode were to be animated. I particularly liked how you focused on making sure that the characters were true to themselves and acted like they were supposed to(This really did feel like an episode from Naruto). For example, naruto's appearance was completely useless and all he ever said was "Kabuto!" and"Where's Sasuke?" just like he usually does. Kabuto's character itself seemed straight out of the anime. There was some of this in the Focker's entry too but there was alot of overly exaggerated comedy based around the characters which sort of ruined it.
Although the Focker's entry was probably more amusing, i voted for the dropouts in terms of quality
Edit: oh yeah i forgot to mention it but the CS filler really annoyed me. Very random and i dont see how you could ever pass it off as a Naruto filler. Also, Enough with Chuck Norris!!!
both entries were good in thier own way. the dropouts had a really nice, anime style storyline going, using many characters, and lots of detailed action. the only thing is, i noticed they had more then a few spelling/gramatical errors.
the fockers, staying true to thier name, did a great job at some slapstick comedy, all the while making sure the randomness of some of the characters was just enough to be entertaining and not ruin the story. I loved how ebisu countered naruto but just punching him before hand, and also itachi's total lack of care for anyhting his partner was saying. granted, some of the penis jokes can be called immature, but then they ARE The Fockers.
Well, Assassin, which did you vote for?
Well....are you suggesting you wanted to see Naruto cumshot?Quote:
Originally Posted by splash
I thought Team Headshot's submission was the funniest. The Fockers would come in a close second, except it was written poorly and, although a few were funny, the sex/penis jokes just made me roll my eyes instead of laugh.
Team Dropout's was pretty good, but it read too much like a fanfiction. Like Masa said, it was "flowery" and just used the writing style of every other fanfic I've seen out there. I'm not saying it wasn't good, I just didn't dig it.
Well, obviously not. But there was a lot of other stuff happening besides that. Also, i guess what you chose to poke fun at kinda restricted your choices. your lossQuote:
Originally Posted by Chaoskiddo
Yes. Those errors really do hurt my writer-ego. They kind of slipped during the last edit of the draft. We already had it under the legal 10000 chars, but somehow vbulletin still said we were over 200 chars, so the last edit kinda was rushed and bad.Quote:
Originally Posted by Assassin
And true. It feels like fanfiction... heck I write fanfiction!!
Randomness isn't my thing, so I proposed a serious storyline and the team accepted.
Kind of boring? Happens when you aren't free to do what you want.
We were told to make a filler. What to do?
-Add Naruto being an idiot.
-Stay on character.
-Can't make someone uberpowerful, but we can make someone under or overestimate someone else.
-In our case... what belivable reason could be have to make Kabuto and Hanabi fight?
-The shampoo joke. -> If we wanted to stay true to a "filler", we needed something stupid. I kinda wanted to add a crow yelling "ahou" (idiot), but didn't had the space.
Why add so many characters then?
For one... no one but Naruto and Sakura knew Kabuto was a spy, so we kinda needed them there.
Kiba was added because of his nose. A line that was cutted out was said he recognized the smell as the one that healed Hinata and knocked him out afterwards.
Why add Tenten? I like her. Enough said.
If we were going to have Hanabi, we needed Hinata (as a background character).
Neji was needed since we needed to have the 64strikes.
The draft may lack something. The narration may be too "fanfiction" (which I don't see as a bad thing). But the thing I wanted was to keep the characters "on-character". No forced jokes. No spoilers. Don't have a character magically come to Konoha without ruining everything else. Of these, I kind of failed the first two with Orochimaru at the end. But what would you have prefered? Them stealing a scroll for a secret jutsu? Not likely.
Anyways. Like I said before. Let the constructive critics continue. It makes me improve my work. And if you think you can make something better (mage), please do so. I would gladly read it.
2000 words isn't much to describe a complete story after all. Here's a teaser of my longest work - Sailor Wars: Moon Chapter (which is reaching the 100,000 words next chapter)
Quote:
After separating from her sister, Ceres speeded towards the beast in front of her. It had tried to pierce her with its tongue, but Ceres had been faster and planted an upwards kick to its chin, making the beast bite its own tongue and thus slice it. Ceres took hold of the ripped tongue and used it, as a whip, to capture another Youma's neck and twist it. Ceres pulled the body towards her and then proceeded to kick both bodies, the one with the ripped tongue included, towards the other Youmas. Tacking advantage of the situation she positioned her right hand's index and middle finger to her forehead, while gathering her power.
- "LIGHT PLASMA!" - Ceres yelled after pointing her hand towards the Youmas. Streams of light emerged from Ceres' fingers, which she moved from side to side, sending stream after stream, which ended slicing the beasts in front of her.
You could've had Hinabi attempt a 64 strike.