YO!
Tell us of your relationships (not online ones) with the opposite gender (or same if you swing that way), are you in one right now, got any funny stories, are you perhaps in looooove? Let us turn this into a deep discussion between the mature posters that frequent this looooovable place okay!! *is a bit hyper*
In love with my best friend.. don't do that shit. I've known her for probably 4 years, we broke up and she moved across the country to be with someone else so our friendship took a hit. So after quite a little chunk of time spent there she came back here with a friend of hers... so I got to thinking about life and said fuck it, nothing's working out, I'll ask her to marry me! So I did...and now she needs time to think. I dunno if she loves that other piece of shit or not, but I'll kill him if I have to.
Anyway I'm being stood up by her now. We were supposed to go out but she fuckin fell asleep. Life sucks.
Theres this girl from high school that I really liked but...I think I'm just gonna give up on her. =/ I only met her and got to know her senior year of high school and then after that, I just never talked to her. I have her screenname, plus her phone number that she wrote in my yearbook and she's my friend on Facebook yet I haven't said anything to her (I'm one of those extremely shy people). We were really good friends in high school too even though I only knew her my last year, she was one of the nicest girls ever. Actually, last semester she IM'd me alot back then and most of the time she would ask if I came home for the weekend and me, being the idiot that I am, didn't realize that maybe she wanted to hang out or something. And now this semester, she hardly IM's me at all. My college friends have been telling me that I should be the one to try and talk to her and I started by writing on her Facebook and then talked to her on AIM twice but...I don't think I came even close. Like, for some reason, I was sort of getting the feeling that maybe she didn't like me as much as I liked her. I never asked how she felt (again, extremely shy here) but...I dunno, its hard to explain. I keep telling myself that I should move on but theres always some point in the day where I think about her. Blah, these relationship things are always gonna be complicated to me. -.-
@Azazel: that it does, hopefully she will come to her senses and realize that metal is the way to go!
@NM: The way I see it you have to take chances occasionally even if you are shy.. a casual "would you like to grab a coffee sometime?" takes you far and is fairly easy to say, 95% will say "sure" unless you are creepy or you don't know them :D and if they say no, big deal, YOU'RE THE MAN SO IT'S THE WHORE'S LOSS RIIIGHT! ^_^
Does the term "friend zone" mean anything to you? She was trying to promote you out of it ... which is unusual. But you blew it -- you didn't pick up on the hints, and more likely than not she wrote that off as a rejection. Now she's probably over it, and I'd give it better than 50/50 odds that she's got a boyfriend. Maybe you shouldn't completely close the book, but I wouldn't count on it going anywhere either.Quote:
Originally Posted by NarutoMaster
So, you're saying you were friends in high school, you talked a bit a couple months ago, and you're hung up on her. Yeah ... that's probably not healthy, and I'd recommend taking this opportunity to meet other people, and try to avoid getting LJBF'ed.Quote:
I never asked how she felt (again, extremely shy here) but...I dunno, its hard to explain. I keep telling myself that I should move on but theres always some point in the day where I think about her. Blah, these relationship things are always gonna be complicated to me. -.-
This thread is 'COLD BLOOODED!' and I absolutely love it.
It occurred to me awhile back that this is one of the KrbFucked threads that was deleted with Mut's account, but by the time I got back home I had forgotten again... lol.
@NM: One thing I've learned is this: If a girl was at one time interested in you, it's almost always possible to rekindle that spark, even if the signs of it are gone. Talking online/over Facebook sucks serious balls and is not easy to pull off right. Just occassionally drop her an IM being like 'Long time no see, how are you?' and casual shit like that. Then if you're ever back home at the same time (but not right when you both first get back home) and have a reason to, invite her out. The first face-to-face encounter will reveal alot.
But, like comp said, don't get too invested in just a dream. Try to go out and meet others. If she does have a BF you have to be ready to let it go.
@Azazel: You're in too deep for anyone to give you advise. You know what you're in better than anyone else. Good luck.
@Terra: You don't post anything about your own relationship? Come on man!
Masa's love situation: Right now I'm studying abroad in Italy for just a semester. I have about 3-5 months left here, so I'm not looking for anything long term. The one girl I really like obviously isn't interested in me and is whoring herself to an Italian sceezeball who already has an Italian girlfriend and just calls the American one when he wants some random play. Fuck. Talk about 'You Can't Win Them All'...
Then there's 'Delicate Situation'. She's this American girl I am semi-dating right now. She has a banging body but I think could use some makeup lessosn from Terra (ouch. I'm bein a harsh bastard ain't i? I do not pull my punches in this shit. Duck if you don't want to get knocked the fuck out), but here's the 'delicate' part, she's a virgin. She also has really been pretty forward with me, and I think she's got my name all over her V-card.
I care alot (probb too much) about other peoples' feelings, so I don't want to hurt this girl. I still regret my first time, as it was to a girl I am less than satisfied with having been with at all, and I firmly believe someone's first should be special. I don't like her the way she likes me, but I don't want to say it that bluntly.
I tell her: "I'm not here for a semester to find a real girlfriend."
She says: "Ok. We'll just take it as it comes."
I tell her: "And you deserve someone great for your first time."
She says: "Well at this rate I'd probb lose it to some asshole. And you're a really great guy."
I tell her: "But I might want to be with other girls in the future, and I don't want to hurt you."
She says: "What might happen isn't something you should base your actions off of right now. Let's just see how things go."
So here I am, she's giving me the green light, but I KNOW she doesn't know what she's getting into yet. Some heavy petting (mostly on my part) and sleeping in the same bed (3 times) is the furthest we've gotten, which is right on the doorstep.
'Rebound Girl' - But wait, Masa has more! This is another girl, much more my type, that I met here in Italy. Early on her long-distance boyfriend broke up with her and we spent along time talking about it and are pretty close friends now. But I want her! And at first she was totally in that 'bad place' after the breakup, but seems to be improving (albiet slowly, she was really invested in this other guy). Slowly we've been getting a little more flirty than friendly, and one night we danced together at a club and made out for a minute or so. But after I go to the bathroom I get back and she's all up on this random guy, and I'm like 'I don't love these hoes I'm out the door' and bounce. Next day she's talking about how sketchy this guy was and how she really didn't like him, how drunk she was, not about us kissing.
Ass is ass, but I do not want to be some rebound post. Been there too many times, not my place.
'The girl(s) back home' You didn't think I just kept my game in one country code did you? The first is my ex. I insisted on breaking up while I was abroad, since I do NOT 'cheat' on people I declare my loyalty to and had already planned on being single in Italy before I even met her. We click very well, have similar tastes in bed, and are both pretty into each other. She's a year younger and it sorta shows, as she's sometimes too immature for my tastes, but other times I really need that in my life. We've slept together for the past 3 months.
'The other girl back home' - aka (Why didn't you show you were interested a year ago?) - This girl is hot, party animal, smart and witty. I met her when I was a sophmore and she was a freshman, but it was just class together and we never hung out on our own or got that close. We chat when we see each other, but that's about it. Then we have class together Fall of my Junior year. Now we start becoming 'study buddies' and she reacts positively to my flirting, showing some interest. But nothing really gets started til like 2 months before I leave, when we go out on 3 dates, makeout on the last one, and start talking alot after classes and online. She even talks to me fairly frequently while I'm here in Italy. And she's living right next door to me next year...
There you have it.
Sure I'll give you my relationship info, was just a bit too lazy to do so before. It goes something like this:
The infatuated girl: She was HEAVILY in love with me before, but she isn't as much anymore. She isn't attractive at all, but we usually end up in bed together when I'm drunk anyway (I mostly don't even remember it). She has been hating me for a while but things are getting better. Reason for the hatred?...
The infatuated girl's friend: While the infatuated girl's love for me was at it's peak, I started having a relationship with one of her better friends. Not as a girlfriend, but we met regularly and we kept having sex and whatnot. However, drama ensued since the infatuated girl had actually been telling people that me and her (the infatuated girl, not her friend) were together, leading to universal confusion among all of her friends - they believed that I was being unfaithful to her! This eventually led to a bunch of fucked up stuff, out of which I wrote some in the bitching thread some time ago because her friends are idiots and should burn in hell.
Me and the friend had a fallout eventually, and it never developed into a real relationship, which I don't mind. She was pretty stupid anyway.
Girl of current interest: The first girl I've met in ages who I actually feel rather attracted to in more than a physical sense happens to apparently like me too! I asked her out on a date recently and while we didn't decide on a specific day, she answered "sure" with no second thought. With a bit of luck, this might turn out really nice.
That's it for now I suppose :S
I'll jump on this and write some lines since it wouldn't hurt to hear other people's opinions.
Well the story goes like this. There's this girl that i have been making out with and shit while drunk alot of times, almost for 2 years now. Last summer, in may last year i think we started dating and well she blew me off after a while so i just didn't boher anymore, i figured she wasn't worth it.
Now almost a year later we ended up on the same party and things turned out as they used to she told me she wanted something serious so i thought for a while maybe i'll give her a second chance.
Now here goes my problem, my attraction to her is purely physical, i think she is hot but we don't really connect that well on the mental level. A part from that i really don't care about her that much.
Right now my conscience tells me to just gain as much as possible from it.
Some opinions on this?
My thoughts are these.. she blew you off, she can go to hell. She missed her chance.
So if you want to go physical with her, do it, but make sure that she knows that you don't want anything serious after that. Otherwise there will just be an endless stream of bickering from her part. From your description I get the impression that she wouldn't mind just spending some "quality time" with you. But I might be wrong...
Im gonna have to agree with Terra on this one PSJ. She missed her chance. Plus if its only a physical attraction, its not gonna last long and your gonna be in for a whole lot trobble in the end.
I have almost the same situation as NarutoMaster:
This girl and I met in my athletics class in 10th Grad. My god did I have the biggest fucking crush on her, and she was BEAUTIFUL and would always flirt with me hardcore. This took place for two years. It was obvious she wanted to be with me now that I look back, but unfortunately I was a dumb gullible fuck back then and never moved in on it.Hell, I never even saw it like that, I just assumed there was no way a girl this awesome and beautiful could fall right into my lap, and viewed her as a friend.. Then I graduated and she stayed in highschool, she was two years younger than me. I had her phone number but lost it, and besides that going up to the school to see her were the only viable methods I had to see her. Then I had to move to my college and I haven't heard from her or seen her since... I kick myself in the groin 3 times a day every day for missing that golden oppurtunity. That shit was love now that I look back. I'm such a fucking idiot... I know there are others out there, but this was the most compatible relationship I've ever seen. I would have gone to the ends of the Earth for this girl, I mean she Was the one. But now all that is gone. She's since moved away to a location unknown to me. I'll probably never see her again. I've contemplated suicide before over the fact that I missed out, but luckily anime always brings my hopes back up and I'm too much of a pussy to actually try it lol. Though the pain still always lingers in my subconcious. I always have dreams of her and shit. I am still single to this day, in hopes that I have a chance to see her again. And if I ever get that chance, you bet your asses I won't miss out, I'll confess my love for her. Hopefully that day will come, but time sure seems to pass by quickly and with time there is change so I hope we'll have that chance. But the odds always weigh in and make me lose hope. :( I'm just a heartbroken fool.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Phoenix20578
That's very true. Thanks for the comments. Really appreciated.
im still in the same situation ( exactly the same) except mine has been going on for 5 years now.... even though i had my share of girls, this girl just rox my entire world, too bad she doesnt live in this country anymore, now i dont even see her anymore T_T, meh i can honestly say that if i would have a relation ship with some other girl, and suddendly she said she still feels the same way, BOOM i would dump the other girl instantly, or i would cheat on her for awhile, without second guessing about it :PQuote:
Originally Posted by IFingHateTonTon
Almost identical situation with me, except I still have 3 months before I actually reach your stage (aka leave high school). I've known this one girl for a loooooooooong time and last year she hanged out with this friend of hers at the school's computer lab. They're both 2 years under me. I was there occasionally and I didn't know anything about her friend. One day they asked me for some help with Powerpoint so I said "Yeah sure". I went over and helped them out. The way I talk in real life (no, not as in I have an accent or anything) is very different from how I write on this forum, and a lot of people think I'm a pretty funny guy. I guess this girl's friend did as well.Quote:
Originally Posted by IFingHateTonTon
That was our first encounter pretty much. A few months after we went on this 3-day DECA trip. It was a provincial business competition thing and that girl came along as well. At the last day, nobody had anything to do so I just hanged around in the mall with a friend. There we met the "girl squad", consisting of two girls whom I've known for a hella long time and that *other* girl. We were at the food court and she asked to share her ice cream with me. Being an absolute dumb fuck at the time, I was like "whoa she can't be serious, especially in front of her friends whom I've known for all my life." So I declined her offer. To this day I still think about that reply I gave and regret it like nothing else. At the time I was outright confused because this girl was still pretty much a stranger. The only thing I knew about her was her name.
Later that day we all sat at the lobby and waited for the bus. The girl squad came over and sat with my group, and that girl sat beside me on my left, IIRC. We just chatted casually until one of her friends brought over some Timbits. I grabbed one of those jam-filled ones and she ripped of it out of my hand. At that moment I knew she was flirting around with me, so I just played along. On the bus home I sat behind her and occasionally talked, but I slepted through most of the trip because I always sleep on the bus. That way was probably the highlight of the trip.
A night or two later, she adds me to MSN. I assumed she asked her friend for my email. So we chatted all night about random stuff because jumping from topic to topic is my forte. She was now a new friend of mine. She's two years younger than me but she's very mature. Over the next few months we occasionally had long chats like that, long because I almost never get to see her in person at school since she's nowhere near any of my classes. I always thought of her as just a friend because she's two years younger than me and there's no way anything could happen. We still have long chats like back then and I've known her for a full year now. I try to see her in person as much as possible but it's tough.
I think it's too late to do anything, especially with me leaving high school in a few months. I didn't have the balls to do anything when opportunity was knocking and I certainly can't do anything now. The one problem is that I still don't know all that much about her because instant messaging is not great for that. I'm positive that she knows more about me than I do about her because I'm a really outgoing guy while she's the quiet type. This girl is really pretty and extremely smart, something you don't see too often in high school. Like IFHTT said, for a long while I truly thought she is THE ONE but the time for that has passed already. I'll probably never see her again once she graduates because she says she wants to leave the city to study media while I'm staying at the local university (University of Waterloo if you're wondering). I guess I had the chance to at least do something with her in this limited time but I blew it :( I'd give up everything to go back to the moment with us sitting there waiting for the bus...
Just ask her out! You still have a little time, then you can get to know her, even if you don't get that involved it's better to have tried and know your current standing than to just let it go. Trust me knowing that you had the chance and missed it is a hell of a lot worse than taking the chance and finding that theres nothing there. Closure's the name of the game when it comes to this type of situation.
Brush the fuck up.Quote:
Originally Posted by IFingHateTonTon
I know how those things feel, but more girls will come your way, they always will.
Never, EVER, consider killing yourself over a woman.
Yeah I know that was extreme but at the time it sounded reasonable. I'd never do it though. It must've been all the teenage hormones coupled with lots of antidepressants and other narcotics back then. Around where I live, it is a pretty common thing though unfortunately. Just two weeks ago some poor bastard took a gun to his head in a church parking lot, because kids at school called him gay... What a dumbass thing to do. I equate it with completely giving up and if you completely give up like that over something so trivial then you were probably better off dead in the first place. I'm good now though.
I'm not completely against suicide. I think if people want peace of mind they should go ahead and do it, but not over a freakin' woman. But hey that's a whole other topic :D
Glad to hear that you have stopped thinking that way though.
I seem to have problems with intimidating people... I don't even mean to or anything, but apparently it's one of those inevitabilities of life.
Part of it is probably because I'm just really insanely huge (6'8), and part of it is the inherent physical strength that comes with that. That's usually enough to keep women from getting close, and has been a big barrier to relationships for me.
Occasionally though, a girl gets over that and realizes that just because I'm huge doesn't mean I'm going to crush her or anything. But the last time I got particularly close to a girl, she broke it off because she was intimidated by my intellect.
How much of a bullshit reason to end a relationship is that? It took me a while to figure it out ... she was a leech. The guy she dated after me (and ended up marrying, and then later divorcing) was also a big guy, but dumb as a rock. I realized, seeing that, that what she really wanted in a relationship was to be the "better half" and get constantly validated for it...
Realizing that about her (and that she's a fucking nutjob), I'm pretty glad I didn't end up with her.
So about half my relationship picture is intimidation... what's the other half, you ask? Missed opportunities.
So, I keep running into these girls at very bad times in my life or theirs ... things that aren't conducive to relationships working out at all. Like this girl Jen ... if I had picked up on her liking me a year or so earlier, we would have had a lot of fun together ... but she's no good at giving signals, and I'm not exactly a perfect receiver of them either (something about not having a poor self-image). So I lost a lot of time ... and by the time I noticed that she was sending these faint little signals, she was set to graduate and move 1500 miles away in like ... 2 months.
Now, one thing I know about relationships ... 2 months is not enough time to have a serious relationship that's about to get separated for the next 3+ years... so I didn't take the opportunity then. Now she's still in upstate New York (and planning on moving to the west coast in the next couple years), and I'm still in Indiana (and planning on being here for the next couple of years). That relationship wouldn't be ... you know ... working.
Then there's the girl from high school. Really smart girl, cute, absolutely hilarious. She went to a different school than me, but we bumped into each other at random events (we were in the same activities). Around the time we both went to college, she went off to Yale, I went to Purdue... we started bouncing IM's off each other. I was into her, she was into me ... but even our breaks were different weeks, so I could only actually see her like twice a year.
Yeah, that didn't work out so well either. We just sort of both lost interest. Now she's graduated, and moved back to the Chicago area, and I'm still a couple hours away and lacking in transportation... so it's still in a "nothing's happening" state.
Dammit ... I need to find a smart, funny, attractive local girl who's into me and isn't graduating at the end of the semester! Why are they so rare? :p
most of you have interesting stories, makes my story sound stupid, but here goes nothing..
i knew this girl, we were good friends for about a good 2-3 years until she moved to the other side of the world and after that a part of me died, because when she left it was like 50% of my good years left with her, i really don't know how to say it, but that's how i felt. back then i barely talked to anyone or got to know anyone, if anything i hated alot of people back then and i guess you can say she was my only close friend back then along with a few other people. anyways, getting back on topic we were good friends, we would shoot pool together alot, drink together alot, and many other things. about 2 years passed and one thing led to another she sorta saw my stash and it led to a slap to my face, then she went home, a few days later she came to see me again and said "i forgive you," i was like "eh?".. unfortunately i was too stupid to realize that was a sign. in the end she moved and left. until today we talk online a lot and stay good friends, on the bright side, she's coming to see me in july, just hope i don't screw it up this time, anyways i guess that's my story.