I learned that if you mix chicken shit in a drum of water and let it ferment outside in the sun, you can spray the result on your plants/vegetables where the soil and the stems meet, and expect your crops to grow three times as fast. You can then sell your crops to unwitting customers and laugh at them for eating chicken shit.

You can also use human decomposition to grow corn, like in the movie Secret Window. That's what we should be doing with dead people, recycling their nutrients back into the ecosystem. It escapes me why we just cremate our loved ones or let them rot in a casket by themselves. Seems wasteful. Let them rot with the earthworms, I say.