An age-old question regarding the good ol' one night stand

[el_boss]

Originally posted by: Mae

Originally posted by: el_boss

Originally posted by: chambers
just take her on SHIT dates, like sport matches in the cold, cheap shitty resturants where they dont serve food she likes. get hammerd with your mates and only ever ring her then if you can.
she will be put off you easy

Actually a girl could get more attracted if you treat her this way. As we all know, girls love "bad-boys", even if they don't admit it.

Pfffft... whatever. Some girls are unfortunate enough through this phase ("Oh, a rebel, how cool!") But I'd say 90% of them get over it. (Several months and one crappy relationship later: "Ok, that sucked, WTF was I thinking? To hell with rebels.")

Let me clear out what I meant by this. First of I said "could get more attracted" which means that she also could get less attracted, but that's obviously individual. And second, I never said anything about rebels, rebels can still be wusses around girls. What I meant was that many women like men that aren't "ordinary", maybe Chambers' example is a little to extreme though.

There's actually no idea in discussing this matter with a woman, since almost all women wont actually say or don't know what kind of guy they want. Many women will say bullshit like "I want a nice guy" or something like that, but when one actually shows up they get bored of him and dismiss him. This is big problem for men around the world since we have been programmed since we were kids that we should be nice to girls and such things. This is why women are attracted to men that break out from the social mold. All this is based on natural instincs, men are attracted by looks and women are attracted by personality.

[Uchiha Barles]

Originally posted by: el_boss
There's actually no idea in discussing this matter with a woman, since almost all women wont actually say or don't know what kind of guy they want. Many women will say bullshit like "I want a nice guy" or something like that, but when one actually shows up they get bored of him and dismiss him. This is big problem for men around the world since we have been programmed since we were kids that we should be nice to girls and such things. This is why women are attracted to men that break out from the social mold. All this is based on natural instincs, men are attracted by looks and women are attracted by personality.

What? I know a lot of women that are attracted by personality, but also a lot that are attracted to looks, and quite a few that are attracted to cash. Even within those theres variation. One good looking guy to one girl is as nasty as they come to another. One girl might want a guy because he has an edge to him, he's not easy to walk over, another might want a guy she can talk to, one who'll listen and be the "sweatheart". The generalizations you made have no basis. If anything, the generalization I heard is that men are instinctually attracted to women based on how fit their offspring would be, and women based on how fit the men are, the provision of stability being the measuring guide. But theres so many examples of relationships not following that so called mold that you can barely call it a mold at all. Thus, even that generalization is invalidated. Different people want different things. Consequently its just best not to try to figure out what all girls want.

[el_boss]

Originally posted by: Uchiha Barles
What? I know a lot of women that are attracted by personality, but also a lot that are attracted to looks, and quite a few that are attracted to cash. Even within those theres variation. One good looking guy to one girl is as nasty as they come to another. One girl might want a guy because he has an edge to him, he's not easy to walk over, another might want a guy she can talk to, one who'll listen and be the "sweatheart". The generalizations you made have no basis. If anything, the generalization I heard is that men are instinctually attracted to women based on how fit their offspring would be, and women based on how fit the men are, the provision of stability being the measuring guide. But theres so many examples of relationships not following that so called mold that you can barely call it a mold at all. Thus, even that generalization is invalidated. Different people want different things. Consequently its just best not to try to figure out what all girls want.

I don't really get your idea with this post. Are you agreeing with me or arguing against me? Because you have basically repeated what was trying to convey.

What I meant by "men are attracted by looks and women are attracted by personality". Was that men go mostly by apperance when selecting someone to mate with. Whilst women mostly go by how a man acts and basically his personality. This is of course from a biological point of view, obviously there are people that look for other traits. But as for natural instincs this is what humans go after.

If you want proof of social programming you just need to look as this thread. As soon as Mae wrote something all the guys were like "omg that's so right, I agree with everything". Eventhough she actually didn't add anything to the discussion.

No one had even mentioned anything about unsafe sex.

The word skank only appered once, and wasn't even meant to explain a "slut".

She's actually refering to sex as something a woman gives to man if he plays his cards right. That sounds an awful lot like prostitution to me.

And the whole honesty bit had already been brought up like three times.

But this was the best part:

Originally posted by: MaeAnd the main question. Why do guys flip out about this? People, it's a compliment. Take it like one. It means you did a good job. It's like you're a new car, and she took you for a test drive, just for kicks, right? But you impressed her, and now she's asking your price. It's not like the girl wants to have your babies, she's testing the water to see if there's a possibility for more.

This statement makes no sense. You might as well say that the man took the woman for a test drive and didn't like it. It sounds as if you think that all the decisions are up to the woman.

@milfhunter: Who is Dr. Phil?

[Uchiha Barles]

Originally posted by: el_boss
What I meant by "men are attracted by looks and women are attracted by personality". Was that men go mostly by apperance when selecting someone to mate with. Whilst women mostly go by how a man acts and basically his personality. This is of course from a biological point of view, obviously there are people that look for other traits. But as for natural instincs this is what humans go after.

If you want proof of social programming you just need to look as this thread. As soon as Mae wrote something all the guys were like "omg that's so right, I agree with everything". Eventhough she actually didn't add anything to the discussion.

No one had even mentioned anything about unsafe sex.

The word skank only appered once, and wasn't even meant to explain a "slut".

She's actually refering to sex as something a woman gives to man if he plays his cards right. That sounds an awful lot like prostitution to me.

And the whole honesty bit had already been brought up like three times.

To answer your question, I'm disagreeing with you, and what I posted was not a repeat of what you said. Instinctually you may be right to a certain degree, but a very small one. At least in the dating circles of people around my age, which I consider to be between 18 to 25. I don't know what its like to be fourty, and I don't know how much of a role instinct will play then. However, in the circles I've seen, which most people here on gotwoot should be a part of, the instinct factor, biological factor, whatever, is either negligible, or is interpreted differently by just about everyone. If that seems confusing at all (cuz it does to me) what I"m trying to say is that you CANNOT MAKE A CORRECT ALL ENCOMPASSING GENERALIZATION LIKE AS TO WHAT WOMEN LOOK FOR IN THE OPPOSITE SEX.

As far as how people responded to mae's post, I don't know if it has as much to do with her being a female as it does that a lot of people felt that her post was an attack of sorts on them, which demanded a response. We can't see her so we don't know if she's hot (you probably are, that's not point). i.e "why're you calling girls whore? you're a whore too if you do this" "I'm not calling the girl a whore...", "wait, girls are whores...let me explain..." etc. Basically its the content of her post, not her gender that caused the responses.