The Bitching Thread

[Sapphire]

Roommates live in the same room and suitemates live in the same apartment at my school, but it really depends on how the people in your area decide to categorize it.

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Why would he put a lock on his door and GTFO?

He should put a lock on his door (immediately) and GTFO (eventually). Why he should GTFO (eventually) on top of locking his door (immediately) is explained below.

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I'm not sure why UChess says that talking about the thieving will be bad for his friend's mental state, but it's the best course of action.

Because confronting this guy in any way, shape or form will obviously upset him. I come across an emotionally unstable person every now and then and they always blow a gasket every time you point out something questionable they're doing.

But it must be done because letting them emotionally and financially (in UChess's case) depend on you does nothing but sucks you dry. If you do, they have no reason to fix themselves or attempt to strengthen their own psyche because they can just leech off of you to make up for their own deficiencies.

Trust me UChess, this guy doesn't think it's his fault either, and that's part of the problem. Really, letting this guy go and telling it like it is makes the world a better place.

And UChess, if he threatens to hurt you, call the authorities. And this is me, the person who hates the local authorities, telling you this lol. Good luck.

[shinta|hikari]

Got it. The way it was written initially, I thought he should put a lock on then leave, which makes absolutely no sense.

[Sapphire]

UChess may not have the resources to leave immediately. From what he's saying, I'm guessing he is under a lease with either an apartment or a dorm. Both places, he'd have to stay in until the contract runs out.

He probably doesn't live with the crazy guy, so that's nice, but his possessions are still out in the open enough for the girls to go into his room without his consent and for people to steal from him, so he should try to secure his stuff as much as possible by getting a lock (or safe) immediately.

[shinta|hikari]

I'd just report the guy to the police.

I really have trouble understanding Uchess' leniency. I am more inclined to be lenient to strangers when they intentionally try to harm/steal/insult me in any way. People are generally assholes anyway, so it is kind of expected. However, if a "friend" does that to you, I consider it betrayal, and betrayal is probably the worst offense in my book. I'd kill that bastard if I could get away with it.

[Uchiha Barles]

I'd just report the guy to the police.

I really have trouble understanding Uchess' leniency. I am more inclined to be lenient to strangers when they intentionally try to harm/steal/insult me in any way. People are generally assholes anyway, so it is kind of expected. However, if a "friend" does that to you, I consider it betrayal, and betrayal is probably the worst offense in my book. I'd kill that bastard if I could get away with it.

He mentioned that he's taking the guy's mental instability into consideration. It's called empathy and compassion. That should only go so far though. Uchess, you definitely should confront the guy, but also account for his instability before you do. Calling the authorities does you little good after he's already harmed you. It may even be impossible to call them depending on how much he's harmed you. So when you do confront him, have some reassurance in the form of more others waiting very nearby (within view or earshot) yet not participating in the confrontation. They're there to protect you should the guy get violent.

I might be overreacting, but I don't know the guy and can't be sure of just how unstable he is. I'll say that him stealing from you isn't a good sign though. In my experience, if people steal from you, they don't give much of a shit about you. Meaning, they're more likely to be willing to harm you.

[UChessmaster]

I live in a house, he doesn`t lives with me but was working his way into moving in by slowly bringing his things to my room.

I went easy on him for several reasons:

1) He is one of my two best friends for several years.

2) I`m in a good place economically, more or less mid-high class, while he`s easily low-low class.

3) I`m not particularly attached to money and I`m really careless with my things, especially in my room, it`s not odd for someone to go into my room and see money laying around.

4) I never had trouble with missing things before.

That said, I see now how staying silent was a mistake, when he was relatively sane I didn`t mentioned it to him because I knew it would be quite embarrassing for him, after that I didn`t mentioned anything because it could worsen his condition. I decided that from now on I`ll simply receive people in my living room, no one else will get into my room besides my family.

[Sapphire]

Fuckkkk, I hate myself right now.

I was standing in front of my college, watching people walk by. Then this guy starts walking along my line of vision with his shirt off. I realized that he was covered in dirt and his face was all bloody. He was using his shirt to wipe the blood of his face and he was sort of limping, not walking. Clearly this guy got mugged, or was in an MMA street fight or something.

All I could say was, "You okay?." And he looked at me kind of shocked that I even said anything and was like "Yeah... I'm okay" even though he clearly wasn't. If it was the normal me, I would have forced him to let me buy him first aid or something, but I just let him walk by thinking like, "well, I can't do anything to help him". Then after a few minutes when I realized I could have in fact bought him first aid or something, I ran after him in the direction he went, but he was long gone. D:

[Buffalobiian]

I don't know.. if someone says "yeah, I'm alright", I don't feel I'm in any position to say "no, you're not".

[Sapphire]

That's just what people say to not inconvenience strangers.

If someone was clearly having a heart attack but insisted they were okay, would you turn away anyway?

[Buffalobiian]

That's just what people say to not inconvenience strangers.

If someone was clearly having a heart attack but insisted they were okay, would you turn away anyway?

Yes, I would. It's the same in first aid - you must ask them if they consent to you performing first aid on them or else it's assault.

If they were unconscious that's another matter, but I respect rejections. Honestly, I don't know how society and courts take this, but I'm a full supporter of autonomy. People are can make their own choices (which we should respect, or at least allow), regardless of what we think is good or bad for them.

I'm also of the belief that if you want help, you should ask for it. I don't look highly of people who don't ask for help, then make remarks such as "All he/she did was watch". Likewise, I retort with "All you did was keep your mouth shut".

I believe in positive feedback and vocalising your thoughts. People don't know what you're thinking about - and it's not up to them to guess it. If someone risks "being seen as dumb" and asks for help, they should be rewarded for their actions by having a higher chance of someone helping them. Likewise, if someone wants to keep their pride and act all tough (not asking for help is one of these acts), they deal with the resultant consequence.

[Ryllharu]

That's just what people say to not inconvenience strangers.

If someone was clearly having a heart attack but insisted they were okay, would you turn away anyway?

The amount of empty platitudes in American English is sometimes downright bizarre. It's definitely the reason Buff isn't as concerned about his state than you were.

What I mean for non-Americans: A standard greeting in the US will be "How are you?/How are things?" The expected answer is, "Good, thanks." or "Good, and yourself?" If you answer honestly, (e.g. "Not great. / Pretty shitty.") you'll either get a strange look, or they will actually, and hilariously, reply "Good!" showing you that they weren't paying attention at all.

Yes, I would. It's the same in first aid - you must ask them if they consent to you performing first aid on them or else it's assault.

Not necessarily in the US! Implied consent clauses exist within the Good Samaritan Law. Not in Saph's case since he responded. It typically is invoked for some state of unconsciousness. Many European actually enforces duty to assist.

I'm also of the belief that if you want help, you should ask for it. I don't look highly of people who don't ask for help, then make remarks such as "All he/she did was watch". Likewise, I retort with "All you did was keep your mouth shut".

US Good Samaritan Laws allow bystanders to legally do nothing (except in certain states).

[Abdula]

Wow Sapphire. You are downright decent. Feeling guilty about not helping that guy is kind of ridiculous though.. There isn't really anything you could have done. I, much like that guy, am surprised the thought even occurred to you. Kudos to you

[Kraco]

I think you are very decent indeed by asking him, Sapphi. I have a feeling these days most people would just stare or even ignore, hoping the wounded person won't approach them. The worst ones would naturally take a photo with their cell phone and upload it to Facebook...

However, if it was a young man declining assistance in a public place, my opinion is that you already did all that you could by asking and being prepared to help if he had requested it. Nobody knows his exact circumstances. For all we know he might have already reached some acquaintance by the time you lost him, so inconveniencing you would have been unnecessary in his own opinion. We'll never know, other than that it's reasonable to assume he didn't need help at that point, or his whole life might have been screwed and realistically you couldn't have done anything about it.

[Buffalobiian]

Not necessarily in the US! Implied consent clauses exist within the Good Samaritan Law. Not in Saph's case since he responded. It typically is invoked for some state of unconsciousness. Many European actually enforces duty to assist.

Yeah, I was talking about in cases where the patient can respond. In non-responsive states consent is implied.

I learned something on this topic last year, but I can't remember the specifics. In Australia I think you're obliged to do what a "decent human being" would do, but our laws have something that covers your ass - if you did something in good faith, you're not liable even if you screw up. This is talking about medically untrained persons. Pretty sure medically trained people are ethically obliged to help somehow. (this is all assuming consent is given or unable to be given)

The standard greeting thing happens here too (not sure how it compares to USA), but whether it's commonplace or not doesn't concern me. "Everyone says they're alright, it doesn't mean they really are" doesn't work for me. If you say you're alright, I take it so.

[Ryllharu]

In Australia I think you're obliged to do what a "decent human being" would do, but our laws have something that covers your ass - if you did something in good faith, you're not liable even if you screw up. This is talking about medically untrained persons. Pretty sure medically trained people are ethically obliged to help somehow. (this is all assuming consent is given or unable to be given)

Medically trained (including previous but no longer up-to-date qualifications) individuals in the US very much can be legally liable if they screw up while helping. A person is supposed to announce what type and level of training they have had if they are assisting.

I don't know how far it extends though, as in whether or not someone trained in CPR 12 year ago is legally liable if they break a rib or two doing chest compressions. Probably only refers to nurses, doctors or EMTs (presently employed, retired, or otherwise).

The laws have very peculiar idiosyncrasies.

[UChessmaster]

In my country, if you don`t break a rib or two you`re doing it wrong.

[Death BOO Z]

a new season of "big brother - Israel" just started. I'm really looking forward to spending the next three months listenning to people who claim they don't watch it deride it as garbage, despite them watching every regular episode and the live feed.
not to mention how every tv set in a public place will be showing the live feed, and yet no one will admit to liking it, but not one of them will turn it off.

hooray!, oh wait, I mean the exact opposite of that.

[Abdula]

You know that is really what the the UN needs to focus on. They need to sit down and get everyone to agree to stop filming/airing any reality shows for 2 or 3 years at least.

[Animeniax]

Whoever designed the caulk-gun method of dispensing product is an asshole and should have every orifice in his body crammed with a caulk gun and caulk emptied into him. What a ridiculously wasteful, messy, frustrating way to apply caulk/putty/cement.

[Ryllharu]

I didn't believe it until I saw a contractor do it right in front of me. No blobs, no gaps, no changes in width, didn't even need to run something down the line to smooth it out.

Caulking is an art.

Applying the correct pressure and moving at the correct speed is a skill that can be learned only through exhaustive experience.

Two tips I learned that I will pass along.
#1: Always cut the tube at an angle, and make damn sure the longer part of the tip is away from the direction you're moving (i.e. it is going over where you've already applied). This allows you to control the flow better.
#2: Go slow. Harder than it sounds.

#1 will help with #2, because when you have the angle correct, you put down less wasted product, and don't feel a need to move as fast.

As a bonus, using a silicone finishing tool to scrape away excess will give you a perfect line. The finger method works well, but those tools are totally worth the price. But you do have to put on what looks like a little bit more than you need for them to work correctly. Always have paper towel on hand.


Hope you have better luck with it in the future.