First off, everything I say is truth, and as such, there is no need for discussion in this topic. Why discuss the truth?

That being said, let there be answers:

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Dear opposite of Righty,

you should definately start with porn, which also happens to be a very underrated job. Imagine how hard it must be to get into action at any time. Well, then again, for some people that might not be hard, but anyway, do it. It's an experience! Oh and that ass part sounded painful. Perhaps you should get a sex change, that might decrease the pain in the longer run?

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Dear Tom tasty-sausage (no sexual pun intended),

if by wemen you mean "women", then none, as it will be heavy. If you by wemen meant "semen", then I don't want to see you juggle anything.

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Dear Lobster of magnetic powers,

"I've asked this before but I never got an answer. Why does terracosmo, gotwoots greatest self-professed "sex fiend" and most depraved individual find female genitalia disgusting?"

Because it looks like a jumbled and distorted image of an old piece of meat and anyone who thinks otherwise is blind. And I am not deprived. Or am I? Dun dun

Oh and for the reference "eating someone out" is the most disgusting way to describe oral sex that I've ever heard. Anyone who says that again will die swiftly.

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Dear Faust,

"Here's a ball-tickler for you:
"ORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORA"

or

"ATATATATATATATATATATATATATATA"?"

Neither, I pick "MUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDA" of course.

"Is a bear Catholic?"

No, but a beer might make him one. (I love that pun)

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Dear Wingy Dancy,

"Life or death situation!! Should I play Twilight Princess on the Gamecube or on the Wii?
Given the shape of the controller, should Nintendo release female dating sims?"

Since I am also looking forward to this game, I'll give you an honest answer. The Wii. The gaming experience will likely be more complete when everything is at it's full potential. And yes, female dating sims is a must, but only if all guys look like Yzak.

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Dear Dragonball hunter,

"Why do I have dandruff and how do I cure it forever instead of for weeks at a time?"

What most people don't know is that dandruff are living organisms. They live inside your body normally, but when you start smelling bad they try to escape and always get stuck in the hair. So the solution is to keep them inside your body by smelling good. Use deodarant.

"Why can I mever maintain my weight training for more than 2 months at most in one go?"

Because you are a lazy son of a bitch who have other things in life that you value and find just as stimulating as weight training. In other words you are just like me in that area.

"Why am I writing in this thread?"

Why do I wear black jeans? Because it rocks.

"For someone watching episode 6 of one piece, when does it get to be good?"

When Sanji enters is the quick and easy way to answer this one.

"Why am I unemployed after just finishing 17 years of gut wrenching education, being of the best (OK not at uni) and generally being a nice guy?"

Because you are either,

a) a regular unlucky person
b) not willing to pleasure people you do not know orally

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Dear metal of dark,

"Which came first, the chicken or the egg?"

The horny rooster. Get it? CAME! God I'm funny.

"If a tree falls in the wood, and no one is there to hear it, does it make a sound?"

Only if it hits a squirrel carrying a megaphone.

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Dear Luci-suffix,

"What is the true essence of a black hole?"

The neverending flow of mana from the holy land, which will never forgive you for your sins.

"Whats the difference between a black hole and a white hole?"

White holes often have black materia in them, whereas black holes not as often have white materia in them.

"Why do people watch anime?"

Good question. I'd never do that.

"Is it true Michael Jackson and Bill Gates are hitting it off?"

It's about as true as the fact that I'm right now listening to finnish melodic death metal. Oh lo and behold, I am. That's funny.

"How do I get rich to go along with my Awesome Don King Style Hairdo to get laid?"

First you buy a guitar. Then you head to the city. When there, you start playing hideously bad while having a sign behind you saying "if you pay me I'll stop playing". You'll get rich quickly.

"Why does my little brothers Rabbit always run under my bed?"

This is where you should probably ask your brother what exactly he does with the rabbit...

"What will happen when your post count hits 8000? Will it bring about the end of the world? And if so, your running a bit late, its already 666."

The end of the world, ah, yes, definately. It will end the world as you know it. It no doubt will. But seriously, no, and nor will post #9000 or #10000, other than it will alter my status of lifeless to "extremely lifeless with extra sallad". And we all know sallad is pretty cool so I'll survive anyway.

666, reminds me of the new Omen movie, which will probably blow.

/ Professor Terra