Mizuchi, you should start working at a travelling bureau. Your zest when it comes to promoting a country where people apparently take dumps on the streets in broad daylight is nothing short of legendary.

"Yes, come to China now! The land of the future! But don't bring anything with you, it might literally kill you! Har har, just kidding (or am I?). Order now and one of our highly educated 9-year olds will in a moment supply you with all your needs, be they stealing your social life or just reading a few segments of Mao Zedong litterature out loud! Top off your dreamy vacation by attempting to gather rice from any of the already depleted farms, this vastly overpopulated country will not hesitate to give you the vacation of YOUR dreams!"

Comedy in the name of bad taste +1.