Terra defeats your privacy part 302: The Relationship (& luv) Thread

[masamuneehs]

The way I see it, a LOT of the men out there need to dampen their overall sex-drive. It might make it so girls can actually frequent a bar without getting felt up by some asshole. Masturbation is healthy!! <3

Amen reverend.

Going out and pursuing is one thing. Going out there and making an ass of yourself because you're too horny (and maybe drunk or high or something in addition) to think better of your, later regretable, actions can easily be avoided by an active imagination, maybe some visual aids, a hand and some tissues.

I will be the first to admit that I am terribly flawed as a person. I need a few 'outlets' and 'props' to live and act the way I find most rewarding and desireable. Otherwise I can really be a pretty fucked-up person if left alone.

freak a'leak!

[gr3atfull]

When I was in fourth grade, I used to like this guy. He was the sport type, funny, talk back to the teachers and real real smart guy. In 7th grade, he started going out with this girl. I was real pissed, but hey thats life. In 10th grade, he broke up with her. A week later, he asks me out. I was really happy since my long time wish came true. After a month going out with him, I finally found out that he was using me to make his ex jealous. I was just being used.

During the summer time, I met this hot guy from a friend at soccer. He was really nice and caring. During the whole summer time, he was inviting me to all the parties and took me out with his friends. At the end of summer time, I found out he was also trying to make his ex jealous at the parties. And again, some one used me as a tool.

Since then, I refused to go out with anyone anymore even though I had offers.

[RedX1z]

When I was in fourth grade, I used to like this guy. He was the sport type, funny, talk back to the teachers and real real smart guy. In 7th grade, he started going out with this girl. I was real pissed, but hey thats life. In 10th grade, he broke up with her. A week later, he asks me out. I was really happy since my long time wish came true. After a month going out with him, I finally found out that he was using me to make his ex jealous. I was just being used.

During the summer time, I met this hot guy from a friend at soccer. He was really nice and caring. During the whole summer time, he was inviting me to all the parties and took me out with his friends. At the end of summer time, I found out he was also trying to make his ex jealous at the parties. And again, some one used me as a tool.

Since then, I refused to go out with anyone anymore even though I had offers.

from the sound of things, you just rushed into these relationships. i'm guessing the reason why they probably used you was because you didn't know them that well and they didn't know you that well or just simply, because those guys are assholes to begin with. you shouldn't stop dating and such, because of that. you should trust, yet not trust a person completely, because in those cases i believe that 90% of the time you're just going to end up breaking up with them anyway, so if you learn that it won't stab you in the heart as much, but hey, that's just my view of things, anyways don't give up on men. i'm sure there's someone out there for you.

[masamuneehs]

gr3atfull, definitely don't stop dating just cuz of those assholes.

It's like fishing. You may only like some kinds of fish, but you end up catching all different sorts, some that you hate. And while if you don't go fishing at all you won't catch those bad fish, you'll also never catch the good ones.

In both fishing for fish and people I find one thing key: location. If you know what kind of guy you're attracted to start hanging out around places where you think he might turn up.

To keep up the metaphors: Knowing is half the battle. You need intel on your prospective target, and this is where your friends come in. I've been employed on innumerable covert operations to find out what exactly a dude was intending with my female friends (it also helps if he doesn't know you're their friend), and those girls have returned the favor as well.

The same thing I said to comp applies to almost everyone who is still searching: Keep on fishing. There's plenty in the sea, but there's only one plaque in your living room for the right one.

[Ero-Fan]

I like this topic. I guess I ought to share my current relationship status like everyone else is as well.
Ok, anyways, I've been going out with my current girl for almost 5 years now. Before you guys ask the obvious question, yes, we probably will get married after we're out of college and have lived together for a bit. Before her, I had dated 4 of her friends. Not a one of these break-ups was ever what you would call amiacable. In fact, the one before her, when she dumped me, I laughed and made her cry. Oh, yeah, all of them were very good friends with each other until they started dating me. So yeah, I wrecked that too, as I went from one friend to another. My current girl and I have an arrangement to see each other every other weekend and any weekdays we have available since we're both in school. My friends get the other weekends, as do hers. I am good friends with her new best friend, which helps in getting ideas for gifts, info on what she did, etc. We (my g/f and I) like to argue. A lot. Which seems to get people worried about us. I think we argue so that we do that make up stuff. Which is always better than normal stuff. Not one of our fights are serious. Also, we almost have nothing in common, which seems weird, but it works out. She's quiet, shy, horrible at math, and very emotional. I almost show no emotion but anger, hate public displays of affection, love math, and am fairly outspoken and outgoing. Go figure.

[Terracosmo]

Yeah I've experienced that "go from one friend to another thing" before too. I've never understood people like that. I'd never let a mate's ex get a shot at me, I have too much respect for my friends to start dating their ex girlfriends... but yeah.

Ero-Fan, some tips for you:

You should make sure that your girlfriend also feels that your fights aren't serious. I might be wrong here of course, but given that you two are so different, I think chances are high that she secretly actually takes them seriously. And, why fight to begin with if the arguments aren't even serious? You also write that you show almost no emotion except anger, isn't it a possibility then that she doesn't dare to show that she hates the fights?

I hope I'm not taking too many liberties here, but I've seen my share of different women and I just thought I'd share my advice. If you are going to get married, you must be 120% sure that it's the right girl. Marriage is hell to get out of if you ever change your mind...

[Ero-Fan]

Yeah I've experienced that "go from one friend to another thing" before too. I've never understood people like that. I'd never let a mate's ex get a shot at me, I have too much respect for my friends to start dating their ex girlfriends... but yeah.

Ero-Fan, some tips for you:

You should make sure that your girlfriend also feels that your fights aren't serious. I might be wrong here of course, but given that you two are so different, I think chances are high that she secretly actually takes them seriously. And, why fight to begin with if the arguments aren't even serious? You also write that you show almost no emotion except anger, isn't it a possibility then that she doesn't dare to show that she hates the fights?

I hope I'm not taking too many liberties here, but I've seen my share of different women and I just thought I'd share my advice. If you are going to get married, you must be 120% sure that it's the right girl. Marriage is hell to get out of if you ever change your mind...

Yeah, I kinda made sure of that too. I ask her about it, and she says she likes to fight as well. She also knows not to take much of what I say too seriously. At least, she says she does. You know how women are... Besides the fact she cries every time she has to go home after a weekend. Supposedly for leaving me, but I think she just hates school. I just enjoy a good fight, and from what she says, she does too. And as I said, but I'll say it clearer here: Make-up sex is always better than regular sex. And most of the time I'm nice to her (in private). Most arguments end with us laughing. I say I only show anger, I do have other emotions of course. I won't get in to why I don't show anything else, suffice to say you can blame that bastard who calls himself my father.
That's why I said we will live together (alone) for a while before we get married. Basically take a test drive on how day to day living will be compared to what we have now. That way she gets to see how much of a mess I can make of a house and how waking up every day next to each other will be like.