Terra defeats your privacy part 302: The Relationship (& luv) Thread

[masamuneehs]

well just when i thought i had resolved the entire 'delicate girl' situation i get into this long discussion with her last night. She had like 3 drinks in her (no tolerance whatsoever) and starts trying to get me to dance with her and kiss her. So i had to walk her outside the place, sit her down and explain to her

"Let's take a break from each other" = "Let's see other people" = "I'm trying to break up with you in a nice way (and still maybe get some casual lays once and awhile)"

Well, now it's in the books. We're officially done (and the fact that we never officially got together makes me raise my eyebrows as to why such a retraction of status had to be agreed upon) finito, hasta la never again baby.

One-sided/unequal relationships are bad news bears. I'm glad that one is over.

[NM]

Ok guys, I really need some help with this one. Its dealing with the same girl from high school that I've liked since I met her senior year. So yesterday, I was in my suitemates room since they invited me over to watch some hockey and have beer. Thats all fine and good, but then my suitemate goes onto Facebook and just starts checking people out and then decides, "Let's check out the girl Dan likes!". So they check her picture, and he clicks on the Send A Message feature (for anyone who doesn't have Facebook, you don't have to be friends with someone on there to send pm's). At first, I figured he would be joking and would not send anything. But he writes in the message, "Dan likes you." and SENDS THE MESSAGE!! I'm just like "omfg wtf I am going to do?!?!?".

Now, don't get me wrong. I do like her and all but its just that I don't know how she feels about me so thats why I've been hesitant to tell her (plus, I haven't spoken to her in awhile). Maybe she did like me before when she was talking to me and all last semester when she asked if I ever came back home for any weekends but I was a dumbass and didn't realize it. What am I going to do???????? The way I see it, there's two things she could do once she reads it.

1) She'll easily notice that he's my friend once she sees the college he's from in the message. She can now view his profile for a month so she'll see that the Common Friend is me. Maybe she'll pm him back? My suitemate knows what he did was dick and I was a little mad at him but I just felt extremely embarassed now, because I just have no freakin' idea how she feels about me. My suitemate said he'll tell me what she messages him if she even does so.

2) She may just IM me on AIM and ask me about this message. Now, I could just say he was drunk and all as an excuse but then I feel as if that would just make her think that I don't like her at all. That would just end everything.

I'm sure she hasn't checked the message since this was late at night yesterday. But she'll probably check it today since its Friday and nobody does work on a Friday. Ugh, I still can't believe she has that message. WHAT DO I DO?????

[masamuneehs]

NM: tell your friend it's time to grow up a little bit.

But, on the other hand, it might have been a blessing in disguise. Regardless of her feelings for you, you never know unless you go out and try to get her and a big part of that is making that first move. Now obviously there were probably more suave ways for that move to be made, but it's sorta out of your hands now...

You should act, but it depends on how often she checks her Facebook. I think you can see when people were last online, but i could be wrong. Either way...

I say you AIM her whenever you see her online next. Just be casual at first. If she doesn't mention it shoot the shit for a little while. But eventually you should tell her what happened and say you're sorry your friends are so immature.

Next comes the hard part... figuring out her reaction and seeing how to respond. Girls do like to hear 'yeah, back in high school i had a crush on you' or 'well yeah you are pretty hot'. or whatever fits your style. If you want to make something with her you'll have to put your feelings out there. Saying the 'i DID like you' is probably better than 'i DO like you', especially since you cant see her reaction face-to-face now. But imply that you might just be interested come summer...

Denying it is no good, it's now a matter of how to smoothly phrase it.

Fishing.
Your friend already threw your line in the water, and probably with some pretty crappy bait on it... But now the rod is in your hands. You can reel it back in and put on some good bait or you can work with what you have. Think of this 'crappy' bait as being a way to get the fish hungry.
But since you're fishing for one specific kind of fish you'll need to tailor your lure/bait for that particular fish.
Good luck.

[XanBcoo]

I agree with Masa. This could be your chance for something to happen between the two of you. Granted, your friend was being really immature and the situation could have run its course a lot more smoothly, but now you are in a position to do something about it. Because of what happened, you have a bit more room to act since you were not forced into an outright confession (which can be daunting). The confession isn't pinned on you, so you'll be able to play it safe, and have a better chance of finding out how she feels about you.

Doesn't seem like such a terrible situation actually. Good luck.

[el_boss]

Ok, it's pretty much the same if it's only you that's on vacation. You will be gone and can't tell anyone.

It was pretty obvious what you wanted out of the interaction. I just said even if you are honest about your intentions, she will still probably have sex with you.

[rockmanj]

yea..actually shes sendin emails now, and wants me to stop by before i leave now. I was like, i dont know yet...maybe. I mean, it might be good to errr...get some mer exercise before i board the plane back to korea.