I think there is just too much text.
And the white border (on the text) doesn't help things.

I would put RZ in the bottom left corner instead of spelling out his entire username. Using a different font for it would be nice I think as well. Or put it in the bottom right corner along the girls lighter grey part of her shirt, maybe having to warp the text a bit to be in line with it. Then blend it in.

As for the rest of the text, I would make the first part bigger than the HxA part. You want the defining description to be more noticeable than who the characters are, or the characters that said it. Try what shinta suggested and make the border the same colour as the background, see if that has a better effect.

Lastly, it seems you only have half a border going on. While having the render appear over the border is fine, it seems like there isn't any border behind it. Most noticeable in the top right above the girls arm. Don't know if this was intentional or not.

Hope that is some decent criticism. I've never been very good at it, so I tried to go off what I would have done.