Drug Testing and Internships

[Animeniax]

I think it's been verified beyond doubt that drug use adversely affects your job performance, regardless of your job function, so drug testing makes sense. It's pretty cut and dry. I know I don't want to work with people who are stoned or inebriated. They're already suffering from base stupidity and laziness. No need to hamper them further.

Plus, drug use means they are more likely to steal or miss work because of legal problems.

[The Heretic Azazel]

I think it's been verified beyond doubt that drug use adversely affects your job performance, regardless of your job function, so drug testing makes sense. It's pretty cut and dry. I know I don't want to work with people who are stoned or inebriated. They're already suffering from base stupidity and laziness. No need to hamper them further.

Plus, drug use means they are more likely to steal or miss work because of legal problems.

Problem is, if someone tests negative for cocaine (crack or powder) or heroine or LSD/PCP/ecstacy it means they quit for 3 - 5 days TOPS. A lot of people do argue that a hard drug user can't quit for that long, and to them I would say, observe your prospective employee during their interview. If they are a frequent user and trying to detox quickly for a drug test you will be able to tell, I promise.

And then there are people like me who fake it with synthetic urine anyway. And by the off-chance your employment is contingent upon a supervised drug test (quite unlikely for employment), if you REALLY wanted the job, you can use your synthetic urine together with a prosthetic penis that stores it and lets it out via a small pump you squeeze. Looks just like you're urinating. Some people swear they can pass that way even if the supervisor were looking at it. I think a football player or someone got in trouble when their prosthetic jock was found in his luggage at the airport not a hell of a long time ago and the company got in trouble, but I think another company started making them. Anyway I've never gone to those lengths, it's mainly used by people on supervised probation.

Drug tests are extremely fallible and humiliating, there has to be some trust between you and your employer, especially if you have an impressive work history.

[Death BOO Z]

And then there are people like me who fake it with synthetic urine anyway

I thought you couldn't make this sound weirder

.together with a prosthetic penis that stores it and lets it out via a small pump you squeeze. .

but you did.